today is a new day

Today is a new day...I have had several emotions running through my head/heart for several days now. I am angry, scared, brave, lonely and ready to face the world all at the same time! I wrote a poem...not sure how good it is but here it is:
"Alone in the dark, looking for light;
No where to turn, no one in sight;
Sad, scared, determined but void, swirling together like a tornado.
I'm hurt, I'm angry, I'm frozen - doesn't anyone see or know?
My heart's filled with anger, I know that is true danger
but how do I fix this? How do I move?
The scars, they run deep, too deep to soothe.
Wait - I see light; but where does it lead?
Will it free me, be what I need?
There's a door in front of me,
Why won't I open it, what will I see?
I prefer to stay in the dark, something that feels secure;
Not take a chance on the unknown, not feel so unsure.
How stupid it sounds as it's voiced in the air,
As I sit all alone in this pit of dispair.
As I sit here and decide what my next step will be -
Know this! No matter what happens, I will always be me!"

I am 44 and facing so many large hurdles. What am I doing? Why am I here? This is NOT what I signed up for. Not at all! But here I am...